aleeyago:

clvbpenguin:

iphONES NEED TO BE STOPPED

promoted:

when a person who’s skinnier than you says they’re fat

image

sovji:

*steals ur credit card*

hasta la visa

katara:

this is my favorite tweet of 2014
hijabiswag:

in 1914, a boy chained his bike to a tree, he never returned.
orthopedick:

"Are you wearing the Ch…"Chanel Boots? Yeah, I am.
dveon:

dilfgod:

lunawinchesterat221tardis:

mxdisonwxtkins:

vann-haal:

beben-eleben:

A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife, 
“Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!”
She responds, “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.”

well this took an unexpected turn

this is interesting .

PLOT TWIST


haha rape jokes are so funny

?????????????
jesussawyoutwerking:

woah
tastefullyoffensive:

"Margaret, I don’t think they’re open on Sundays."

selfiepolice:

i feel u

or like i want to

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